Friday, 4 March 2016

SHY

Shyness has been on my mind a lot lately. I've mentioned it in some of my videos and you guys have also mentioned it in your comments. I know now there are a lot of shy people in this world and when I was younger I wished for some better advice on it than "be brave". That never helped me, because I didn't know how to do so. Confidence is something that builds up when you grow and get older, but I still wish somebody had told me a couple of tips.

And so I went a little back down memory lane and gave a very hard thought on what I had actually done. For the record, I used to have problems with starting a conversation or joining in one. Especially in large groups. Being the center of attention and saying something out loud was a nightmare for me. From that, I've somehow managed to become a fitness instructor, a teacher, a blogger and a youtuber. All things which require being in front of other people and express yourself verbally. That didn't happen all in one day and I've definitely had to consciously work hard for that. 

Being shy isn't a negative thing and please never feel like you have to get rid of it. You probably won't even if you try. And if you feel comfortable with yourself the way you are, then that is more than ok. For me though, I always felt like I wasn't being myself around other people and I felt like they didn't get to know me and I didn't get to know them. I still am shy and very often feel insecure, but I've learnt to control it, live with it and not let it stop me from doing what I want to do.

I filmed a video with three tips for anybody who wants to gain more confidence. I learned these along the way, and as I said, whish somebody had given me a hint somewhere in the past about how to live with shyness. So here I am giving you that hint and I hope it helps you. Just remember, you are awesome just the way you are, as long as you are happy with yourself. <3



I'd love to hear your thoughts on shyness!
Do you feel shy?
Have you ever wanted to not be shy?
How have you gained more confidence?

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Love you!
Emma xxx

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26 comments

  1. Replies
    1. I am :) it's a part-time job of mine that I absolutely love <3 xxx

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  2. I was a very shy child, and I can still be shy today! I've wanted to not be shy so many times, I used to get so frustrated with myself! I've definitely come out of my shell more as I've got older though xo

    ohhelloitshannah.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. It's true, that when you get older you learn more about yourself and become more confident. And luckily so <3 I know exactly though how you've felt and I know how frustrating it can be! Which is why I wanted to chat more about it :) Thanks for the lovely comment. I hope you have a lovely week ahead of you <3 xxx

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  3. Wow you really have acheived so much lovely.. well done!! I was shy to start with and to be honest I think at one point everyone is shy... so nice to see you coming out of your shell!!

    Saira
    www.throughtheglitterglass.wordpress.com
    xo

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    1. Awww thank you gorgeous <3 I too think shyness isn't actually a rare thing. It's just that shy people are often quiet and don't speak about it. And that way they don't get attention or noticed.
      Thank you for the lovely comment hon, it really meant a lot <3 xxx

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  4. I think everyone is shy when they're younger, then people start to come out of their shell a bit :) Sounds like you've achieved lot, so well done! Xx

    http://www.itsjessiejane.com/

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    1. I totally agree. As we get to know ourselves better we gain more confidence. But I don't think you can totally get rid of shyness and luckily nobody has to <3
      Thank you for the comment, I really really appreciate it as this is such an important subject to me <3 Have a lovely week xxx

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  5. AW! I totally get what you means about the centre of attention! Large groups of people are just SOOO scary haha!xx

    Check out my recent?
    www.hannahporterx.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. They are! I'd rather chat in a small group. I can do presentations and stuff nowadays, because there's a place and time for them plus you have time to prepare yourself for them( not that I don't feel anxious about them...) so I feel like it's easier.
      Have a lovely week deary <3 xxx

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  6. proud of you Em! i grew up as a shy kid as well, compared to my sister who was always making people laugh and stuffs. i didn't let it bring me down though, instead, being shy and introvert made me do a lot of thinking about life and personalities and you name it, on a regular basis which helped me be a better version of myself everyday.

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    1. Thanks lovely <3 I love your point here! It's so true and also so important to get to know yourself and make the best out of it. For some it might take longer and some might always know.
      I think you're right on point here. Amazing. Well done beautiful <3 xxx

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  7. I've always been a shy person. Even though I tried to change it many times, it didn't really work. Being shy doesn't really help me, especially in a big social group and it gets worse when someone points it out like "are you shy or what". I should take things slow, then the shyness gets better. Also totally agree with you, you can't please everyone. For pleasing others you shouldn't make yourself miserable. You're a lovely lady, thanks for this great video! xx

    Ela BellaWorld

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    1. Oh yeah, I know that comment...Doesn't help a bit! Quite the opposite actually. It's the same as people telling you to be more brave..... Like yay thanks for the great advice! Errmm...nope...!
      I too like to get to know people first!
      This comment meant so much to me, thank you for it lovely <3 xxx

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  8. I've always been very shy, and anxious especially around new people. I may be quite open and friendly online, but I'm actually very quiet and shy in person. I struggle a lot when it comes to starting a conversation with someone, and to be honest I've always been that way, I think. This may seem a little weird, but the only thing that's worked for me in terms of shyness is literally just 'fake it till you make it'. I fake being confident when it really matters, for example, in a job interview. It's difficult, but I kind of just distance myself from the person I really am, and try to pretend to be someone else. It doesn't always work, but it's the best I could come up with! I'm at peace with it, though. I have a few people in my life that really matter, and they accept me for who I am. On top of that, I have some lovely friends online, such as yourself, which makes me really happy and is more than I could ever ask for, anyway. :) Thank you for sharing your tips and your experience, it means a lot and in a way, it helps to get to know you a little better. :) You are a wonderful, kind person, and I'm grateful to be able to call you my friend. <3 Kisses. x x x

    Kay
    http://shoesandglitter.com/

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    1. This is exactly why I love having you as my friend Kay, you're honest and kind <3 thank you <3 this means so much to me especially after the day I had at uni today.
      I thinks I've actually been doing something very similar in job interviews. I act the way I think I should act to get the job. At one point I was a bit ashamed of it, because I felt like the place I work at deserved a bubbly and outgoing girl, which I wasn't at the time. Nowadays I'm super thankful for all of that because I still work there and love my job. It has taught me a lot and given me so much.
      Then again at some other places, such as uni, I don't feel like at home and I definitely go into my shell. I don't like it and I couldn't be happier to graduate this spring. But on the other hand I very luckily have some lovely friends and a very supportive family so all in all I'm happy <3 It's quality over quantity when it comes to the people in your life <3
      Thank you for the lovely comment hon. I'm so happy do be able to chat about this to you and the blogging world <3
      I hope you have a wonderful week! xxx

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    2. Thanks, darling! If you ever want to chat properly, feel free to drop me an e-mail or a Twitter DM. :) x x I think that we have quite a lot in common, which is great, because honestly most people I've met in my life don't share the same mindset and view on things. I graduated from uni a little over a year ago, and I could definietly relate to what you said about not feeling 'at home' whilst being there. It always takes me forever to adapt to new places, and uni days were definietly challenging for me, at points. It felt like everyone around me was so much more sociable and outgoing than I was, which made me feel a little sad! I still feel this way some days, but like you said, it's quality not quantity and I'm grateful for the few wonderful people that are in my life. :) x x Kisses. x x

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    3. This is why I love you Kay, you really know how to make me smile <3 Thank you <3<3<3 I think I'll survive my final semester at uni if I just remember what you said :)) xxx

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  9. You have done so well! You should be proud :)

    I am really anxious about everything, but for some reason once you get me talking on something I wont stop, my problem is I then doubt absolutely everything I have said, and dig myself into a hole over it. lol

    http://www.makeerinover.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Erin<3 I could hug you right now!
      Haha :D I usually think too much about what I say. But if somebody gets me into that talking mood, I too worry afterwards "what was it I said" :D
      Have a lovely week darling <3 xxx

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  10. This was a really interesting post to read! I don't think shyness should ever be anything that should be frowned upon. I actually find it's quite endearing. I'm not an overall shy person in general but I definitely get bouts of it in situations that are new to me, as I think we can all do! Some fabulous tips Emma!

    Musings & More

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    1. I'm so glad to hear you liked it :) Thank you! I agree that most of us feel shy sometimes, or anxious which I guess can be very similar ( and totally different...).
      Thanks for the lovely comment, it really means so much to me to be chatting about this subject! xx

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  11. Oh man I've always been on the introverted and shy side, and my dad used to say that after church when I was 3, instead of playing with the other kids, I would play by myself picking flowers. I have gotten better over the yes, and I've done well for someone who's been bullied a lot, but I still have that timidness at the back of my head. It's such a contrast to my outgoing mom. I know it's definitely gonna be a struggle for my wedding...I have 140 guests I am invited and I hope that dwindles down to 110. It's just that we have a lot of family friends that I grew up around. I was so overwhelmed at my engagement party by all of the crowds, and the people my mom and sister invited (also I was anxious because I was finishing up my last semester at my university and needed to do homework!) but at least I had my core group of friends by my side.I noticed that a lot of beauty bloggers struggle with shyness, and writing is a great way to express how you truly feel. Thank you so much Emma, you are so inspirational, especially with how you have overcame it with being a fitness instructor and YouTuber! I love your posts!

    Hannah
    http://floraful.blogspot.com

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    1. Oooh that's one big wedding you're having. I think we had about 100 too, but we invited only people who we love and wanted to be there so we felt very comfortable on the day. Which I think is very important as it is supposed to be one of the best days in your life. I'm sure you'll be the most gorgeous bride in the world <3 Just remember why you're getting married and concentrate on your hubby-to-be and you'll be more than fine <3
      I at one point felt very lonely with the way I feel about being shy but bligging has definitely helped, especially now that I wrote this. <3
      Thank you for your lovely comment deary <3 Lots of hugs and kisses<3 xxx

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  12. Thank you so so much for this amazing post and the video, sweetie. I can relate on so many levels! Being shy is sometimes that definitely always sticks around but like you mentioned, it's important not to let it control us but rather deal with it and keep it at bay. I always get really anxious in an unusual or unknown situation, with strangers or around people when I know I must make a good impression on them. Everyone I have come across was so lovely to me apart from the most horrid time in my life when I was 17-18 and was bullied quite a lot. Being an only child, I've always been comfortable by myself or around a familiar crowd. I have learnt and keep learning how to deal with my shyness and anxiety when too much is happening or I need to meet with many people or strangers. Once my hubby invited 10 of his friends to stay over the weekend at our house. 10 people + 2 of us in one house for the whole weekend! lol. At first I was freaking out (quietly, obviously, never told anyone) but I did manage and was so proud of that little accomplishment. I am super thankful that blogging brought me so many amazing connections and, most importantly, helped me build friendships. I am blessed beyond words how such a friend as you, Emma. I do hope we will get to meet one day and even if we are shy for the first few minutes, I am more than sure it will fade away super quickly :D
    Love ya, sweetie!
    xox Nadia
    http://www.mielandmint.com/

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    1. Exactly my point. It's so amazing how shyness can kind of be trained. It's not an illness and there isn't medication for it, the only one who can do something about it is you yourself. And I think that you welcoming so many people to your house was one of those things that make you feel stronger. Little things for some, but I know I'd be quite anxious about that too!
      The blogging community is just about one of the best things in my life. I love to be able to chat to people here and get comments and being heard. And makeing friendships like ours is so amazing! I never thought this could be possible but I'm so super glad I started blogging and found this little place on the internet.
      I'm sure if, or better even, WHEN we meet we'll be like we've known each other for ages! :) <3
      Thank you for your friendship Nadia darling <3 If I could I'd give you a big ol' hug right now! Love ya <3 xxx

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Thanks for commenting and have a lovely day<3 xxx

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